Retrograde
by Nephthys Moon
Summary: As the dawn of Crystal Tokyo approaches, Ami is surprised to find she is not the only one who views the future with dread.


**Retrograde**  
In two months, Tsukino Usagi would be twenty-two years old. Which, to Mizuno Ami's mind, meant that whatever happened to bring about the dawn of Crystal Tokyo was probably going to happen soon. She didn't know how, but any day, the war that would create the utopia would start. And all she could think was that she needed a vacation. Sure, the peace had lasted for a few years now - three to be exact - but she was tired. Tired of working towards a dream that she knew would never come true.

What good would medical school do her once she was forced to be Sailor Mercury for a thousand years? The knowledge of healing would be good for them all, she didn't doubt, but she would never be able to become a doctor. Ami lay back on her bed, snuggling into the pillow as she thought, with some reluctance, about the years of pushing herself to be the top in every test, every class. All of it had been for this one goal - and why, she couldn't help but wonder, had she not realized before today that her goal was a pipe dream? For seven years, she'd known that this event was coming. She'd known that the world as she knew it would end and she would become a guardian of the Silver Millennium's incarnation: Crystal Tokyo. But why had she never thought that that would mean she couldn't be a doctor?

A sort of madness gripped her, as she thought of all the things she'd skipped doing so she could study. All the parties, the get-togethers, the possibilities of having a social life - pushed aside by studies and Senshi duties. Never once was there time to just be Ami-chan. And sometime soon, there will never be another chance to be just Ami-chan.

Ami stood without considering the consequences and took off to the Tsukino home at a run. Usagi's mother opened the door, and Ami looked at her in sympathy. The Crystal Tokyo she and the other Senshi had seen did not include the parents of the Queen. Ami assumed the Tsukino family did not survive. Perhaps that was the trigger that changed the clumsy girl now tripping down the stairs into a graceful and elegant queen.

"Ami-chan!" the exuberant woman shouted as she stumbled down the last three steps. Ami just shook her head.

"Usagi-chan, I've been thinking," she said as they walked up the stairs together, unaware of the eyes of Usagi's mother boring into their backs. For the past three years, her daughter had become much quieter, more studious, and more - sophisticated, she guessed was the word. She'd assumed it had quite a bit to do with Mamoru-san. The look in Ami-chan's eyes, however, made her wonder. The young woman looked lost.

"A vacation?" Usagi shrieked loudly as soon as her bedroom door was closed behind them. "Really, Ami-chan?"

Ami hid a smile. Usagi had grown more mature in recent years, but at heart, she was still a fun-loving girl. She didn't want to trouble Usagi with her concerns and her troubles. She was taken aback, therefore, when Usagi flew at her in a hug.

"Ami-chan, how did you know that I was wanting just one last trip with you guys before it was all over, and we had to give up our normal lives forever?" Usagi's voice was full of tears.

"I didn't," Ami said slowly, stepping away from her friend. "I just needed it for myself." She sat down on the floor at the small table. She was not surprised to feel Usagi's arms around her this time. Slowly, she remembered years of training with the young woman sitting beside her. Usagi had never wanted this - any of it.

Wiping tears from her eyes, Usagi looked at her friend with a gleam of mischief in her eyes. "So, where do you want to go?"

"I was thinking we could go up to the mountains again. We always go to the beach, and the mountains will be nicer at this time of year," Ami responded, smiling.

"Let's call Rei-chan, Minako-chan and Mako-chan and go!" Usagi shouted, jumping up and making towards the door.

"What about Mamoru-san?" Ami asked, assuming that Usagi would be calling him as well.

Usagi turned back towards Ami and gave her a smile reminiscent of the girl she'd once been. "Honestly, Ami-chan, how can I flirt with the cute boys at the lake if Mamo-chan is with me?"

The following day, Ami smiled in contentment. She was sitting in compartment on the train with her four closest friends, recalling enemies defeated and the direction their lives had taken to this point. They were more than halfway to their destination when Rei brough up the subject Ami realized they were all avoiding.

"I wish we didn't know," she mumbled glumly, refusing to meet Usagi's eyes.

"Rei-chan!" Minako scolded.

"Minako-chan, it's alright," Usagi whispered. Four sets of eyes turned to her. She looked down, refusing to meet them. "I wish we didn't know, either."

"But we do," Makoto said stoutly, daring the others to complain further. When no one said anything, she continued. "This is why Sailor Pluto didn't want to tell us more."

"She could have told us enough to be prepared!" Usagi challenged. "We don't know anything, really! All we know is that sometime in the next year, we're going to have to become the leaders of a new world, and we don't even know how it comes about!"

"Usagi-chan!" Four voices shouted as the blonde's eyes overflowed. It was Rei who broke the silence after a long moment.

"Mamoru-san still hasn't proposed, has he?" she said slyly, ignoring the ferocious glances her friends gave her.

"No," Usagi answered quietly. "He hasn't said a word about it. It's almost like he's pretending that it doesn't happen at all."

"But, Usagi-chan, what about that?" Ami questioned, pointing at the ring that adorned Usagi's left hand.

"I don't know," she whispered, trying to blink back tears. Makoto put her arm around the girl, glaring at Rei as she did so.

"He loves you, Usagi-chan. And you know you'll get married sometime soon," Makoto reasoned with her.

"No, I don't - not really." A gasp of surprise startled her into looking up. "Sailor Pluto warned us of the danger of knowing too much about our own future; she told us not to trust the timeline too much, because things can change." Ami looked at Rei, and understood that she wasn't the only one who had fears on the subject.

The train stopped suddenly, and Ami looked up. Rei's eyes flashed with fire for a moment, and Ami suddenly knew what was happening: it was starting. Five pairs of eyes looked around for one moment.

"Let's run," Usagi suggested suddenly, and the others looked to Ami. She knew they thought she could predict the change to the timeline if they were to just refuse to fight this battle - refuse to take the future shown to them by Sailor Pluto.

"We can't," she said sadly, thinking for one brief moment of Ryo-kun, someone she hadn't seen for many years. "We don't know what will happen if we do, but I can almost guarantee that we will all die." A smile lit her face.

"And I, for one, would like to have one last kiss before I die. The only way that can happen is if we stand together and fight for the future we know is coming. We can do this!"

Quietly, Rei stood, followed by Minako, Makoto and Ami. They looked down at their future Queen. She nodded, silently brushing tears from her cheeks.

"Everyone, make up!" she shouted, the courage that always lay beneath the surface coming to the forefront.

The familiar phrases of her friends transforming warmed Ami's heart, and she realized that her dream did not matter in the face of the future of the world. As the rushing water surrounded her, wiping away her casual clothing and replacing it with the dress of the warrior of Mercury. As it always did, the power of the Senshi flowed through her with the transformation. When it was complete, four warriors stood around her.

"For the dreams that will never come true!" Sailor Mercury said quietly, a small fire lighting her face as she put her hand in the middle of the circle. Sailor Mars, Sailor Venus, and Sailor Jupiter followed suit. All eyes turned to Eternal Sailor Moon.

"For those that will," she whispered, putting her hand on the top of the pile. The Sailor Senshi charged into battle that would win the Earth's freedom from the darkness.


End file.
